Final game of the Asian World Cup Qualifiers second round. Thailand needs to win by a three goal margin to go through to the next round.

I was in my room, nervously pacing around while watching my computer screen. We needed three goals. We needed a miracle. But more unlikely results have occurred before.

First half. Watching the game got frustrating after a while. But after the deadlock was broken by a goal, hopes were high. If we became more clinical in the second half, another two should be easy.

Second half. The goalkeeper playing until their gloves (metaphorically) came off. Singapore equalised. Hope was lost.

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Why have I wrote this all down?

I enjoy watching football. The past few years I have been watching Forest go from bottling playoffs with Sabri Lamouchi, to the worst opening seven games with Chris Hughton, to an unexpected playoff run, and two relegation battles they scraped themselves through. The playoff versus Huddersfield was the highest stakes game in the past few years that I can remember.

And none of it came anywhere near how nervous I felt for the Singapore game.

The stakes weren’t even that high. Thailand wasn’t going to qualify for the World Cup even if they won the game — they were probably going to be knocked out in the next qualifying round anyway. But yet, despite the win, there’s a disappointment that I felt that we could have done more.

And yet it’s the game I am most nervous, and afterwards most sad about in the past few years.

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But the whole experience raises a different thought for me.

Being in another country is to be reminded of your foreign status. Don’t get me wrong — Singapore has been great, and I have fitted in well. But

If anything, being abroad has made me realise how strong of a connection I feel to my home country. Especially through football. Even if I don’t agree with everything the country or the government does, it’s beside the point.

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So if you read through the rambling, here are my two summary points.

  1. Your home country may not be perfect, but it’s your home country. Whether you chose it or not, it is a backdrop for your life, and shapes you in more ways than you may think.
  2. Sports is damn powerful for local pride. It may not directly improve your economy or have tangible benefits, but a good sports team makes you proud of your country. And even if Thailand never makes it to a World Cup again in my lifetime (the women’s team did it once), I’m gonna still be behind them no matter what.